Bachelorette Outfit Recap
This last weekend I celebrated my upcoming nuptials with some of my favorite women in the world… and I’ve never felt so loved. Outside of the obvious “Despacito” (I spent my weekend in Miami), one of my favorite songs of the weekend was “Most Girls” by Hailee Steinfeld.
When I first heard this song, I instantly fell in love. Mind you, I’m not usually the bubble gum pop type (at least not primarily – I admit I have a few Justin Bieber songs in my spotify…), but I love what this song is trying to teach young women. Raise your hand if you’ve ever said “well I’m different from most girls because…” Raise your hand higher if you said this to a man, and then smack yourself lightly on the head … (I know I’m guilty).
This song, to me, is about turning that sentiment around – and conveys that, while we’re all different – some of us “feel best in a tiny dress”, some of us feel like queens in “nothing but sweatpants” (we all know I’m the former), we should appreciate those things about each other and remember that the vast majority of us are “strong and smart and beautiful” and we are all trying to “work hard, go far [and be] unstoppable.” We should support each other in these endeavors, instead of trying to push each other out of the way while we all simply “[try] to win at life.”
So frequently in my life I’ve encountered women who, instead of building each other up, insist on competing with each other, on doing whatever it takes to ensure they’re at the top, and it’s this behavior that makes us our own worst enemies.
I believe this behavior comes from the sense that women feel there can “only be one” – for some reason, over time we’ve been socialized to live in a world of “-ests”. You need to be the smart-EST girl in class, the hard-EST working for the job, the sweet-EST of all your friends, the classi-EST host, and of course my favorite, the pretti-EST girl in the room. This is because of course, women seem to think in a binary manner about the qualities they pride themselves on. Either you’re the best or you’re nothing.
I admit, I do this to myself all the time – I leave the house feeling FLY AF and then I walk into a bar and I’m like damn that girl is prettier, or better dressed, or funnier, yada yada and the list goes on. I have to actively stop myself and say – she’s gorgeous and that’s awesome for her and so are you in your own way and WHO CARES EVEN. I actually started doing something new last year – whenever I meet a girl that right off the bat rubs me the wrong way, or I find myself wanting to compete with, I try to become they’re closest friend. Because 9 times out of 10 these are JUST the bad@$$ babes that I should be friends with. They’re hard-working, smart, funny, and honestly value a lot of the same things I do. It’s worked wonders and I have many new amazing and inspiring female friends as a result.
I know this post is a bit of an off-core-topic to my usual fashion focus – but as I’m going through my “wedding year”, one of the most telling and transitional of a women’s life, I am not just amazed by the love I have for my fiance, but for the love and support that has resonated from so many amazing women around me. Shout out to all you strong, intelligent, powerful women who make me wanna be like… most girls….